Women ask themselves plenty of question while shopping: “Is this cute?” “Does my butt look huge?” “Do I love this or do I love this love this?” But according to celebrity fashion stylist Brad Goreski, the most important question women should ask is probably the last one you’d think of.

“When you go out shopping, it should be a very joyful experience and something that you treat yourself to,” Goreski, a Marshalls partner and celebrity stylist, told me over dinner last week. “We’re very quick to say what we don’t like about ourselves and it’s right at the tip of our tongue, but it should actually be the opposite.”

Before and while shopping, Goreski, who counts Sarah Hyland and Rashida Jones among his clients, says we should ask what we love about ourselves. Yeah, it may sound corny, but Goreski says if you start from there, then you’ll shop to highlight what it is you love. “If you have great legs, then you’re going to probably want to wear shorter skirts or a skinny pant or something like that. Then you can go to Marshalls and find those great designer pieces at an incredible value. The ones that allow you play with trends you love or buy something a little more unexpected that could become the best friend in your wardrobe.”

As the night went on, I took the opportunity to chat with Goreski about how to transition your wardrobe from your twenties to your thirties, or during any major transitional period in your life. “I’m actually experiencing it now because I just turned 38, so I see 40 looming,” Goreski shared. “I think, first of all, 30 is nothing. But I totally understand. What you have to do is stay true to who you are, but become a better version of yourself. Think of what is the DNA of your style and what is the thing for you that’s like, ‘This is who I am’ and stay true to that,” he advised. “Hold on really, really tight to that thing you believe is the DNA of your style, and let some of the other things fall away.”